Netflix:
- Does not have adult movies. Yes, I said what everyone else was thinking, but afraid to say to their friends, family and neighbors. No porn at Netflix? Everyone else is cashing in on this annual 9 billion dollar industry. Why not Netflix? Are they scared of backlash? Of losing contracts with movie studios? They should be scared that Apple might do this in the future and make billions more per year. Maybe they are from the Puritan sect that seems to still be holding America hostage. Maybe they can be like Blockbuster and edit out all the dirty little scenes or just put bright yellow happy faces on all the nasty little people parts that seems to scare sexually repressed America. It would look like a happy face dance party. Bouncing all over the screen and getting smaller, larger, disappearing, appearing…glow in the dark anyone?
- Scared to digitally put-out. Getting movies through the mail is great. But for those that don't work, have no social life, or are just plain movie sluts, they come fast enough. The solution? Netflix has movies online too. These can be downloaded if you have a PC, sorry mac people (I am screwed too). You can always install Parallels and put a PC platform on your Mac, which might be worth doing, except that there are not that many good movies available online yet. There are 10,000 movies for download, but never the one you want to see. Are they scared? What's the deal Netflix? Put them all up so we can see them all in a never-ending movieathon. Take the whole week off from work, make a gallon of espresso with a pound of sugar in it, drink it every hour and watch movies for a week straight–24/7. Imagine all the movies you could see? Now imagine if they were adult movies…After a week of that you would be cured for life of ever wanting to see another one of those movies…okay maybe just cured for a week or so. Come on, be honest now.
Video Rental Stores:
- Are not in your mailbox. Who wants to drive to the store after a long day at work to see a movie that most likely will be rented out anyways? How many times have you weaved your way through the crowds of people in those narrow isles, only to find that the person in front of you just grabbed the last copy of the movie you have been dying to see? All too often. Why do you think most video stores are going the Netflix route and offering to mail the discs to you home? Now if they offered everything for download…watch out Netflix. What if they actually drove the disc to your home and dropped it into your mailbox? Better yet, what if they came on over, made you dinner, opened a bottle of wine, set up the movie, gave you a deep-tissue massage while you watched the movie, fed your cats and dogs and kids, did the dishes, and then returned the movie back to their store immediately after? Now, that might beat Netfix.
- Like to sell you lots of crappy candy. I guess since they cannot bring the entire movie experience to you, they try to bring you to the fake experience by placing all that crappy junk food, popcorn and high fructose corn syrup directly in front of your face at the checkout line and at the counter. Maybe they think that you will magically become insane, believe you are at the movie theater and buy all that crap for your friends, lover and kids. The problem is, where are all those hugely over-packed bathrooms, video arcades, and sticky soda covered floors? I guess the nice thing is that you can get a good sugar high and claim the twinkie defense for any insane actions that result from a toxic overload of sugar in your brain.
Stay at home and wait for that movie to show up in your mailbox or drive over to the local strip mall to pick up a movie that will most likely be out of stock? Maybe we should all get an Apple TV, or maybe not.
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