Wall Street Liars vs. Us

So, are you sick of all the Republican sponsored corruption that just destroyed your kid's college fund and your 401K? They let things out of control and they sure went way, way out of control into a downward spiraling fireball right into the heart of a seemingly endless life-killing black hole. Sorry for the downer. But, this thing is bad. It's us, the citizens of this country, verses them, the corrupt and greedy Wall Street Fund managers and corrupt politicians. They want your money and will do anything to get it. Then, when they mess up by way of their own fault and greed, they want more of your money to pad their bank accounts again. "Bleed America". That's the new GOP slogan. So here it is.

We the Citizens of the USA:

1. Will continue to get robbed with our pants down as long as we sit in our homes and don't make an uproar to our representatives in Congress and in our local and state governments. Make them hear your frustration! Let it out. The greedy will always be greedy. We are the ones that have to convince our government to put regulations against these monsters in place. Otherwise, we will continue to get robbed. Say goodbye to that college fund.
2. Are tragically misinformed. If you pay attention to what is going on in the media, what the President is doing and then compare that to what top economic advisers in our nation's top schools and institutions think, you will hear two different stories. This has been the case for the last eight years. The media and the President are saying the economy is fine and not to worry. They say they need the money to help out their friends, I mean the banks and Wall Street. Advisors say that this money will not do much and that it is meant to line the pockets of these corrupt people. Why are we being lied to? Ask yourself that question and trust your intuition and instincts. It's not hard to figure out. Just stop listening to FOX and start reading independent media and economic reports. The truth of the matter will come out. They think we are suckers. Maybe they are right. Are you?

The Wall Street Fund Managers, Bank Owners and Supporting Politicians:

1. Are big fat corrupt latte drinking liars. No way around that one. They have proven this to us. The facts and evidence are here for all of us to see. Look at the milk mustaches. These people caused this mess with their corrupt policies and back-handed dealings and lobbyists. Is this a system you want to support? I don't. Would you want these people as your neighbors or friends? I don't either. Then why should we stand that they are our representatives in our government and elected officials in our financial institutions? 
2. Want us to look the other way and squeal. Never-mind we have had the largest bank collapse since the Great Depression. Did you know that the great Depression occurred because the banks collapsed after they invested their money in speculations to try to make record profits? Does this sound familiar? Does this sound scary? Good, it should. These guys want us to look the other way and not give a hoot about our money and the money they are asking from the government to bail them out of their failed greedy banking and risky  investing policies. They will put on a show to try to distract the citizens of this county from the real issues, like regulating these corrupt industries. Will they bring us into a second Great Depression? Maybe. It''s hard to tell at this point. It will get rough. I can say that.

This is a real battle of the classes. The wealthy verses the middle class and poor. Are you ready to take on the corruption and lies? You never believed it before, but now it's undeniable.

Obama Happy Huggers vs. McCain Angry Fascists

Okay, I am going to get into this. Politics. Everyone who wants to throw up at the sight of a political discussion better leave now, or keep on reading and maybe get a few laughs. Politics is not for polite discourse. Can't you decide? Are you ignorant or just fearful? Do you only vote for who your parents vote for? Can't use your own brain and courage to branch out on your own? Here we go. The big one…Obama vs McCain. 

Obama Happy Huggers: 

1. Are full of love and gooey goodness for all. Yep. For the most part, the people attracted to the Obama/Biden ticket are liberals or at least moderates with a liberal bent. At best, a few dissatisfied and very smart apparently, conservatives have joined this ticket. Do you want change? This is the only ticket that will bring any significant change for the better to this ailing nation. These people want gooey goodness for all and for everything to be shiny, happy, and full of  pink cherry blossom and rose petal exploding joy and love. A world hug, a kiss for humanity. Feel my glowing aura and eminating central chakra? You want better schools for you kids? Done. You want a strong American economy that supports small American companies and it's laborers with fair and equal practices? Done. You want the constitution and human rights restored? Done. You want an end to the eight years of unparalleled corruption and abuse in our nation? Done. Sunshine for all. Can you feel the gooey warm rays hitting your face?
2. Are the crazy ones I see at the local co-op and WholeFoods. Yes, this is true. They do shop at the hippie places and at the farmer markets and at WholeFoods. But this also means they have money and that they are smart. Maybe they know something that everyone else does not. As a matter of fact, maybe they know a lot of things everyone should. The hemp shirts, the Patagonia clothing, the recycled rubber shoes, the Prius, the home-filtered water, the eating local…what does this all mean? What happened to American football, steaks and Bud? What happened to blissful ignorance and what happened to my 401K? What happened to the top banks in America and investment firms on Wall Street? What happened to my Bill of Rights, my civil rights, and the Constitution? What is happening to my schools and my tax money going to Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran (yes there are black operations there), Venezuela, Georgia (not the racist red-neck state in the USA) and Bolivia? 

McCain Angry Fascists:

1. Are responsible for all problems mentioned above. Yes, this is true. The Republican party has had unchecked and full-power for the last eight years. They have abused this and have damaged everything from the Constitution to your kid's elementary school. Fun, isn't it? Even real conservatives are mad as hell. They are so mad that some of them will vote for Obama just to reprimand the not so grand GOP. These McCainers, are true fascists. When you read McCain's Senate voting record (yes, you can find it on the internet), you will see that he is anything but moderate. In fact, his record shows that he is one of the most conservative Senators out there, and not in a good way. We are talking Creationism in schools, wiretapping your house and email, sending your kids to die in the Middle East wars for the next 50 years, more corporate bailouts and under the table dealings that destroy your retirement. Feel it yet? You should. McCain is lying from everything about the economy to what he will do in office, just to get your little old vote. Then when he gets in office, you are screwed once again; just like when you voted for good old Bush. Remember that? History has an odd way of repeating itself. Remember this well. This is Bush III. Don't settle for mediocrity, because this team is not bringing anything new to the table, not even for authentic conservatives.  McCain has been the staunchest supporter of Bush's failing and horribly corrupt policies, you know, that guy you conservatives don't like. He has also stated that he supports the policies of Bush and thus we can safely deduct that he will continue those so loved policies. So, follow your instincts and don't vote him in again. You know, the US Gross Domestic Product and stock market has historically done better when a Democrat is in office? I bet you did not know that fact. Whabam! 
2. Are not real people, but living cartoons. This can't be real can it? McCain/Palin moving along and spreading the good evangelical word (Sarah Palin is a hardcore evangelical, pro-censorship, untruthful individual–do the research yourself, this is all true.) and burning books and censoring and not talking about the real topics, but instead making fun of their opponents, like the election is some sort of a fool's game? Where is Wiley Coyote and RoadRunner? Where is Elmer Fudd and Buggs? Maybe McCain is the dumb-founded Elmer Fudd and Palin is the persistent and almost-dangerous Wiley Coyote. The things they do and the things they say are so absurd and so lie-filled, that it has to be a distortion of reality, a cartoon. I hope this cartoon ends happy. Maybe the two of them can move to Mars and live with Marvin the Martian. Then they will create a ploy to take over the universe. Why are they so angry?

This is no game my friends. This time this is real. Turn off your TV, turn off the mad rants on radio, and start to learn who these candidates really are and what they stand for. You will be surprised at how many lies have been fed to you. 

Fake Eaters vs. Heavy Eaters

Have you ever gone to a restaurant starving and the person you are with or next to orders a small salad for dinner? What about that guy next to you that orders two entrees? Starve or pork-out? Who is more annoying?

Fake Eaters

1. Are only faking themselves. And maybe not even that. Everybody needs to diet, but come on! How is it humanely possible to eat only a singe tortilla or five pieces of lettuce for dinner? Even starving people on food rations in Africa would say you are insane. I know those are your role models, but do you really need your ribs to pop out of your sides? Once we can see your eye sockets, you need to stop and go eat an extra large pizza or two hoagies. You know you are hungry. Is it really worth it to have boney elbows? When you start looking at the food thrown away in garbage cans, you really have a problem. Do you wonder why super skinny coc addicted models are so grumpy? Hello, lack of food. FYI, eat a burger.
2. Should be banned from restaurants. Unless they are actually going to take my advice and eat something and not run to the bathroom and make themselves throw it up immediately after eating it. if you are not going to eat the food, then don't waste the table space and most importantly, the chef's work. What a shame to waste that good food. There is good reason why Spain and England banned models that were too skinny. Don't waste good food.

Heavy Eaters

1. Should be banned from restaurants. Although they should be commended for appreciating and not wasting good food, that does not include all food in existence. Leave some for the rest of us! You will make the rest of us turn into boney twiggy starving models desperately in need of an extra large pizza with the works. God forbid they walk into a all-you-can-eat buffet! The cooks will run away in fear. But maybe that's a good thing since the food usually is terrible anyways. 
2. Should be used to ward off the fake eaters. Every restaurant should have a few of these guys out front, not inside eating all the food, to act like bouncers. Anorexic and bulimic super models and wannabe hipsters will be so repulsed that people are outside voraciously eating large portions of food and not just drinking a cocktail and splitting an appetizer, that they will run away in pure fear that they might be pressured to eat a real meal. OMG! What do you mean that we can't go to a restaurant and waste a table by just hanging out and not ordering anything? You mean this restaurant has to make money to pay the lease? But, I eat the free nacho chips for dinner. Doesn't that count? 

Is one worse than the other? Does it matter?

Cultural Activities vs. Sports

Is it a day at the museum to see that new intriguing art show everyone is talking about, or a day at the stadium watching a rambunctious and rowdy game? Is there such a huge difference between the two? Are you thrown into a violent convulsing fit that makes you spew vomit across the room if asked to attend one over another? Is it that bad? Apparently so. 

Cultural Activities:

1. Are for Wussies. The opera, art exhibits, food fairs, wine tasting, even concerts? Well…maybe not that far? Who wants to develop their brain anyways? It's far better to let that heap of Jello in your skull rot and ooze out onto the floor beneath your new Nike shoes. That is what the rugged tread and Nike Air are for anyways. How can anyone tolerate going to an event that relies on the use of our human brain to interpret stimulus into usable knowledge and reflect upon our culture's current obsessions? Say what? What? Yep. That's right. Use that brain baby. It's so good.
2. Are not Sports. While the work might be visually interesting, why doesn't art and other cultural activities have more violence and full-contact camaraderie? Full-contact ballet? Playing dodge ball in a museum? Ultimate frisbee opera? Come on! Make it interesting for our low American attention spans and ever-declining I.Qs. I mean, we can always bring in the hand held Playstation or cell phone games, but that's not enough. Why can't we get a football team to come into the concert hall and perform the opera or the ballet, with a few passes here and there? Maybe a tackle or two and a few broken snapping ribs timed just right to the meter of the accapella? Snap, crackle, pop…isn't that a cereal? Rice Crispies or broken bones?

Sports:

1. Are for Meatheads. Have you ever seen meat on someone's head before? I don't see any steaks up there. As a matter of fact, I don't see anything up there. Maybe just a wiff of hot air and ill-placed beer bravad in that meatless cranial cavern. Don't get me wrong, sports can be great, but when taken to a level of addiction where your life revolves around all sports all the time, then Houston, we have a problem. Read what is happening to our country and our economy? Read about what our corrupt politicians are doing? Participate in petitions and protests against our Bill of Rights crushing fascist government? Help make our communities and schools better? Naw, I'd rather watch a good old football game. It makes you wonder doesn't it? Distract the masses with sports and they will be happy and follow your lead. Wait, wasn't that created by the Roman Empire to control it's masses? You got it. Now we use it.
2. Are Exhausting. It's hard work sitting on your couch, eating a hoagie and slurping down a 64oz soda. That takes some serious training and effort. Take it up a step and you need a weekend to recover. Go to the stadium and watch a game live, eating heart-attack fatty hotdogs and low-grade beer, peeing with the masses in the massive bathroom dungeons and get an extreme workout. Make sure to bring your sweats, a headband and your vitamin water. 

Are there any boundaries between these two that cross? We everyone be totally happy with either? Most likely not. Next time, try bringing a bowling ball to an art show or a can of spray paint to a golf game. That could pose for some serious fun…

Nachos vs. Popcorn

Ah, yes. The epic battle. The age old question that stumped the greatest minds of our time and of past history. Do you prefer the crunchy mound of fried corn triangles piled high with guacamole, cheese, peppers, black beans and salsa? Or, do you prefer the crunchy and salty snap of puffed corn covered in butter and/or with a sweet candied coating? Nachos or Popcorn? What will it be?

Nachos:

1. Are Gang Food. Yeah…you got to love those people who think nachos are a lowly cuisine of the dirty plebeian masses. Well, this ragamuffin loves these tasty delights. What is not to love about all those bullet ridden avocados and gang-banger black beans? Feel your inner vato and go for the nachos if you dare. Beware if you are a white male with a nasally dork voice or have a Midwest accent. Your peers might think you are a radical and a troublemaker in disguise. Those crunchy nachos can be used a weapons you know. You better not get caught with those at the airport. Security might think they are Mexican ninja stars or box cutters. Long live gang food.
2. Are Godsent. It might be true. Even if your an agnostic or an atheist, the pure design of the nacho stack of goopy goodness may make you think maybe there is a higher power involved with all this. How else can you explain this sumptuous food? It's perfectly layered sins, its levels of rich kingdoms, its moment of creation when you take your first bite and taste the overwhelming genesis that we call nachos.

Popcorn

1. Is for Pimple Headed Kids. So what? We were all pimple headed kids at one time that were addicted to this other genre of corn junk food. Salty, crunchy, sometimes sweet and even candy coated? OMG! This is bliss. Caramel covered popcorn? Chocolate covered popcorn? Can it get any more tempting? It probably can. Yo can still find nacho flavored popcorn. What does that say about popcorn? What does that say about nachos? I think we are still all a bunch of pimple headed teenagers looking for our crunchy, salty, sugary fix. 
2. Smells soooo good. Watch out. When fresh popcorn is opened, it's a Pandora's box of hunger pains. The divine smell permeates every pore of your body and soul until it awakens the hunger beast. Even if in hibernation, the warm toasty smell conjures up memories of old and lights a desire to crunch down on that warm tasting treat. Can one contemplate life over a bowl of perfectly buttered and salted popcorn? It's quite possible. The bowl can almost be viewed as a Japanese meditation rock garden. But when cooked too long and it sets on fire and turns pitch black, that smell lingers for days and it too, permeates everything. Your hair, your clothing, your underwear, your dog and your cat, the toupee next door… It all smells like a California summer wildfire, or Beijing summer smog for that matter.

How can corn be made into both of these unearthly delights? Don't question the making, just eat it. Which is superior? Which represents the third eye in the Shiva? Can one come close to actual Nirvana? Not sure, but they make my tummy happy.

Netflix vs. Video Rental Stores

Today it easy as driving to your local movie rental store or going to your computer to download a movie to see a movie of your liking. No more waiting in lines at the theater. Things are rapidly changing. Want to watch a movie on your desktop computer? Done. Want to watch a movie on your laptop? Done. What to watch a movie on your phone? Hello iPhone. Next is the wrist watch movie player, or the movie player built right into your contact lenses. Any way you slice it, your movie addiction can be viewed into submission almost anywhere now. So, what is better then? What is the difference or benefits of going to Blockbuster or using Netflix? Going to the store or going online to either get mailed a movie and or downloading one?

Netflix:

1. Does not have adult movies. Yes, I said what everyone else was thinking, but afraid to say to their friends, family and neighbors. No porn at Netflix? Everyone else is cashing in on this annual 9 billion dollar industry. Why not Netflix? Are they scared of backlash? Of losing contracts with movie studios? They should be scared that Apple might do this in the future and make billions more per year. Maybe they are from the Puritan sect that seems to still be holding America hostage. Maybe they can be like Blockbuster and edit out all the dirty little scenes or just put bright yellow happy faces on all the nasty little people parts that seems to scare sexually repressed America. It would look like a happy face dance party. Bouncing all over the screen and getting smaller, larger, disappearing, appearing…glow in the dark anyone?
2. Scared to digitally put-out. Getting movies through the mail is great. But for those that don't work, have no social life, or are just plain movie sluts, they come fast enough. The solution? Netflix has movies online too. These can be downloaded if you have a PC, sorry mac people (I am screwed too). You can always install Parallels and put a PC platform on your Mac, which might be worth doing, except that there are not that many good movies available online yet. There are 10,000 movies for download, but never the one you want to see. Are they scared? What's the deal Netflix? Put them all up so we can see them all in a never-ending movieathon. Take the whole week off from work, make a gallon of espresso with a pound of sugar in it, drink it every hour and watch movies for a week straight–24/7. Imagine all the movies you could see? Now imagine if they were adult movies…After a week of that you would be cured for life of ever wanting to see another one of those movies…okay maybe just cured for a week or so. Come on, be honest now.

Video Rental Stores:

1. Are not in your mailbox. Who wants to drive to the store after a long day at work to see a movie that most likely will be rented out anyways? How many times have you weaved your way through the crowds of people in those narrow isles, only to find that the person in front of you just grabbed the last copy of the movie you have been dying to see? All too often. Why do you think most video stores are going the Netflix route and offering to mail the discs to you home? Now if they offered everything for download…watch out Netflix. What if they actually drove the disc to your home and dropped it into your mailbox? Better yet, what if they came on over, made you dinner, opened a bottle of wine, set up the movie, gave you a deep-tissue massage while you watched the movie, fed your cats and dogs and kids, did the dishes, and then returned the movie back to their store immediately after? Now, that might beat Netfix.
2. Like to sell you lots of crappy candy. I guess since they cannot bring the entire movie experience to you, they try to bring you to the fake experience by placing all that crappy junk food, popcorn and high fructose corn syrup directly in front of your face at the checkout line and at the counter. Maybe they think that you will magically become insane, believe you are at the movie theater and buy all that crap for your friends, lover and kids. The problem is, where are all those hugely over-packed bathrooms, video arcades, and sticky soda covered floors? I guess the nice thing is that you can get a good sugar high and claim the twinkie defense for any insane actions that result from a toxic overload of sugar in your brain.

Stay at home and wait for that movie to show up in your mailbox or drive over to the local strip mall to pick up a movie that will most likely be out of stock? Maybe we should all get an Apple TV, or maybe not.

Carnivores vs. Vegetarians

Does that rack of lamb beckon you? Can you resist that kobe beef burger with smoked bacon? What about that seared ahi salad with a side of ale steamed mussels? How hard would these be to give up? I know I can't do it. It takes a dedication and partial disgust to live a lifestyle away from our muscle-mass (that's meat for you carnivores out there) addicted society (and World for that matter). Why do Carnivores get upset when they hear someone is a vegetarian? Strange. Did you ever meet an over enthusiastic vegetarian? Well, lets explore this.

Carnivores

1. Are Meatheads? What a silly question. Of course, you are what you eat. So the answer is YES! Me caveman…eat meat…uhhhh. Wait, maybe that's what all those meatheads from the Midwest say…I am not sure. I may be confused. Sometimes, you have to wonder if all the meat they eat replaces their brain. Meat in, brain out. Maybe that is why the bathroom stinks so much after eating all those ribs, fish tacos, hanger steaks, bison burgers and lamb eyes…just kidding on that one. Does meat and football go hand in hand? Does America and meat go hand in hand? Maybe it just one big happy flag waving football carrying sausagefest? Anyone have the lube, I mean the ketchup?
2. Subconsciously Feel Guilty. So why so angry when a vegetarian is in the group? Why so upset when someone mentions vegetarian food? Hostility galore I say! This is very strange behavior indeed. Would Sigmund Freud have a field day with this one? Indeed. Maybe it's tofu envy. Remember all that talk about train tunnels and trains? What about meat and mouth? Seriously now, it makes sense that heavy meat eaters would take offense at the lack of meat in a meal. They know they should not be eating all that meat and when someone else is able to actually resist meat, it makes the meat eater feel guilty. Thereby, turning the guilt into hostility towards the one they really admire. Thank God for those college level psychology courses! So next time you take a bite into a juicy burger of sin, say thank you to your vegehead friend. Then proceed to eat the burger and make stinky poop.

Vegetarians

1. Are Stinky, Health Freak Hippies. Pass the patchouli and sage man. Want to join a hug circle? Then go to your local coop (or Whole Foods for rich hippies) to find your neighborhood hippies and discover odd vegetarian and even spooky vegan food delights. The stuff looks rather weird. Stinky, everyone is stinky. Usually, the more dairy and meat one eats, the stinkier they are. It's just the way it is. But those organic $8 deodorants smell all herbally and funky, like a incense addicted Hari Chistna with a bowl of potpourri. Health Freaks? Usually…well sort of. If you don't count the fact that most vegetarians have a wicked sweet tooth that would put children at Halloween to shame, then yes. Just ask any random kid on the street. Bets are that they were robbed by a squirrely vegetarian needing a sugar fix last Halloween. So, vegies can be just as fat as your obese carnivore, but may stink less like BO. Unless they don't use deodorant at all.
2. Want to Save the World With Hugs. Following that hug circle, what if we all held hands, smiled at each other, wore hemp shoes, used public transportation, bought local and organic, and played acoustic fair-traded guitars during campfires? What would the world become if we hugged everything instead of bombing everything? What happens when everyone holding hands and hugging has to go to the bathroom at the same time after eating too much vegan raw food? There is only so much time you can hold that hot lava in your south facing cavern before it explodes like Mt. Saint Helens. Image the looks on everyone's faces and the toxic sludge that would be created in the aftermath. There again, is that smell issue. 

Meat is tempting, but causes everything from global warming (from all the methane gas expelled by all those cows–causes more global warming than cars) to heart attacks to constipation. Vegies will give you the runs, never fill you up and make you look uber healthy to your macho friends. What side do you take?